DO I HAVE TO?…REALLY?

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Bollocks! That is literally the only way I can think to describe things. God, I thought I was going to be so productive in 2014. I am well aware that we’re only a month into the year but if you knew what I was like…oh this isn’t good!

I just can’t seem to find the motivation to do anything at all. I start a piece of work and then about half way through I think what the fuck is the point of this? and end up scrapping it.

I’ve written before about my struggle with anxiety and depression and while I have made a lot of progress I think I’ve still managed to let it get a hold of me too much now. It feels like a vicious circle at times. I don’t go out to work as that is still a bit of a challenge for me but I’m very lucky to have my parents supporting me while I get myself together. I’m really not very good with going out in public but I think I’m really going to have to push myself this year as I need that outlet where I can bounce ideas off other artists. Or even just getting inspired and motivated. I don’t think I’ll achieve anything by staying at home!

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WP_000501 Today was the first time in a while that I felt like doing any drawing. These are some of William Morris’ roses. I actually found it very relaxing doing this which is something I haven’t felt in a while when producing art. There’s always that niggle at the back of my head that the work must in some way produce money and I’m starting to find that overwhelming now. I don’t know how others manage it, that balance of creating something they are happy with but also that people would want to buy.

Onward and up though eh?!

Hope all is well with everyone.

Take care,

Rach x

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